Life in Shadows
by Iggy Lovechild
Summary: On the Death Angel and Count: (A series of stories revolving around Walter and Alucard over their years of service and partnership for Hellsing) AluWalter, m/m ship
1. Intro

I suppose this could be a companion piece to "Life in the Gloom", only representing my other major Hellsing ship instead. It is...neglected a lot I think, though admittedly I haven't actively looked for fic. It just seems to me a lot of Girlcard x Young Walter, and while I accept that as an aspect of their relationship, I imagine he eventually reverted back masculinity. I also don't think that they were lovers as children. That's just kind of creepy aside from some relatively innocent snogging. Listen to me prattle on. Anyhow, that being said, the most intimate scenes between them will likely be slashy. In other words, post-Dawn, before Alucard was put down in the basement. Walter in his prime rather than his wild youth, though certainly still vicious. (In other words: The author thinks Dark Walter is crazy hot.)  
If any of this makes you uncomfortable, the back button is quite the useful tool. Please use it.

_**disclaimer:**__ All characters created by Kohta Hirano unless stated otherwise._


	2. Metamorph

_note: I am aware that according to both Hellsing Ultimate and The Dawn anime Alucard retains his normal voice even in Girlycard form. Let me keep my head canon of his voice changing along with his form, ok? There are few things I enjoy as much as typing the phrase 'Alucard giggled coquettishly'. _

**"Metamorph"**

She was waiting on the steps of the compound. Walter frowned deeply as he approached the young lady. She appeared close in age to him and was dressed all in white. Long black hair gleamed eerily in the moonlight.

"Excuse me, Miss," Walter called out to her. "Are you lost?"

She turned and smiled at him. Walter felt the shock of revelation as he recognized the wicked expression and the girl's crimson eyes. She laughed at his shock and though it was high and sweet, the mania was disturbingly familiar.

"Alucard?!" Walter gasped.

"Death Angel," Alucard nodded in greeting.

"What in hell do you think you're doing?" Walter demanded.

The vampire shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Change back this instant! Does Sir Hellsing know about this?"

Alucard grinned and Walter felt a wave of revulsion. The pretty face of the young lady he'd become twisted and was obscene.

"He had little against it. I rather think he prefers it to my usual form."

Walter groaned softly as he rolled his eyes. He joined Alucard on the same step as they waited for their ride to the latest mission. The vampire took his arm and it made Walter's skin crawl. Alucard still smelled like blood and merlot and leered like the madman that he was.

"We'll make a much better pair in the city," Alucard assured him. "Young lovers out on a swoon."

Walter scoffed and tried to pull away, but the vampire held him fast with minimal effort. He gave up struggling with a long-suffering sigh.

"I hate you," Walter stated flatly.

Alucard just laughed and patted his arm gently as though he'd made the funniest joke. "Oh I know, believe me. I know."

**Finis**


	3. The Suitor

_a drabble from my tumblr rp-blog, written for Mr. Dornes_

_note: yes this features Alucard in girlycard form_

**The Suitor**

I smoked as I waited for Walter to obtain our train tickets. His brand was far too harsh and he was better off without them. He'd be a wheezing old geezer by forty the way he chain-smoked, and that was absolutely unacceptable to me. Surely there would be a time that I was no longer needed, and I was loathe to think of Hellsing's director being left unprotected while I slumbered.  
Movement on the edge of my vision momentarily distracted me from my morbid train of thought. A young man was approaching me. He looked to be around sixteen, maybe a bit younger.

"That's a terrible habit, you know," He teased me.

I scoffed softly. Maybe I should have made him go away, but my perpetual boredom overwhelmed common sense.

"Your concern is touching," I replied coolly.

"Are you traveling alone?"

Laughing bitterly, I took a drag off my cigarette. "I am always alone."

"How sad. Pretty girls like you shouldn't be so lonely."

He reached out as though to touch me, my cheek or perhaps to catch a tendril of my black hair. I shied from his touch, and as I noticed the boy's disappointment, Walter's voice called over the train station's din.

"What in hell do you think you're doing?"

I turned to look at him and couldn't suppress my smirk. The Angel of Death looked as angry as I'd ever seen him. How fun! I wondered if he were mad that I was interacting with a human in public or that the boy was flirting with me.

My would-be suitor looked Walter up and down before smirking. "What's it to you, mate?"

"Sod off," Walter growled. "She's not interested."

"She told me she was alone. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let a young lady travel unprotected?"

Walter grinned and it was a nasty one. His hand darted forward quickly to grab the boy's shirt. "Listen here, you wanker. That girl does not need to be protected. You have no unearthly idea what you're fucking with, so I suggest you piss off and find someone that actually needs it."

He shoved him away, the young man sputtered a bit before stalking off, and I could only laugh. Walter rounded on me angrily and plucked the cigarette from my fingers. He took a drag, made a face, and tossed it down.

"You know very well you're supposed to avoid interaction with mortals," He snapped.

I shrugged. "Choice word is 'avoid', Death Angel. He approached me. I tried to deter him, but he was rather dense."

Walter rolled his eyes and sighed wearily. Much to my surprise, he tucked a hand into the inside pocket of my jacket and retrieved the pack of cigarettes I'd lifted off his person earlier in the evening.

"And quit stealing my fags."

**Finis**


	4. Bewitching

**"Bewitching"**

I was bored. So bored. Extremely bored. There are no words in the English language to describe how bored I was. Arthur was anxious. He hates when I'm restless because I tend to amuse myself in unconventional ways. Last time I got Walter drunk and ended up tanning his backside. He couldn't look me in the eye for a week.

I love that he finds this feminine form so bewitching. It's just so endlessly amusing that he _knows_ me, and yet he still reacts to a pretty girl's face. The best comes with his anger because it's not as though he isn't as aware of the absurdity as I am.

"Let's go trick-or-treating!" I suggested to the Angel of Death as he smoked in the garden. He swore and glared, still a bit disturbed by my random appearances.

He scoffed and his breath was on the chill afternoon air, mingling with his exhaled cigarette smoke. "We're a bit too old, don't you think? Especially _you_."

At eighteen, Walter could pass for much younger. "So what? It'll amuse me."

I leered as he flinched ever so slightly. "The things that amuse you always end with my suffering."

"Don't be melodramatic!" I laughed and swatted his arm. My flirtatious manner annoyed him. "Come now, what on earth would you do without my entertainment?"

His lip quirked into the smallest of smiles. "And what do you suppose we go as?"

"Ourselves," I replied with a shrug.

Walter laughed and I couldn't conceal my smile. It was good to hear the sound. He was so damned serious and too fucking young to be a killer like me.

"That's so boring! Where's your limitless creative nonsense?"

"Oh, do you have a better idea?"

He looked at me with a faintly surprised expression. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Quite," I grinned. "Unless you'd prefer another round with the paddle?"

"Tch," Walter sneered. "Bloody pervert. I'll think something up, though you'll be lucky if I don't stick you in a burlap sack and call you manure."

**Finis**.


	5. Mask

_note: This fic is a not-exactly sequel to "Maelstrom", but I think it can stand well enough alone. _

**"Mask"**

He smoked while we walked back to the car. The man seemed a bit more relaxed, whether it be from the release of bloodlust or our kiss I wasn't quite sure. The strained expression he'd been wearing of late seemed somewhat diminished, but there were still traces of that stern demeanor he'd built up over the past couple years.

Upon reaching the vehicle, he leaned against it and looked up into my face. His eyes caught the moonlight and briefly held an unearthly glow. It was a dear temptation to kiss him again. The contact, brief as it'd been, had stirred something inside me.

Walter casually reached between our bodies, perhaps a bit too close, and grabbed my tie. He twisted it between dexterous fingers, and I sighed contently as the fabric tightened along the wounds his wires had left on my throat. Though healed, the skin was still raw, angry.

"I think I like you better in this form," Walter stated softly.

Scoffing, I leaned closer to him and grinned. It was nasty, and I knew I was being cruel, but I simply could not help myself.

"If men are your preference, I'd have happily indulged you."

"Idiot," The Death Angel spat the word just as surely as he'd spat out his cigarette to the ground. "As though I'd be so petty. I don't give a damn what you look like."

A thoughtful look crossed his face even as he fisted the fabric until I gagged. Though strangulation would surely not hurt me, much less kill me, the tight sensation across my throat was tantalizing as the man holding the tether. His cool eyes only seemed to intensify my arousal.

"I am a hunter of your kind, Alucard," Walter drawled, his tone a bit rough as he drew me ever closer. "Do you think I'm not aware of the power you possess and danger you pose to this world? This has nothing to do with the organ between your legs."

"Is that it then? Are you repulsed by what I am?" I asked. My voice came in a hoarse whisper as I struggled to form words from my stifled larynx.

"No," He murmured. "Quite the contrary. I've never considered you anything less than fascinating. Yet I suppose it has been rather disquieting to realize my own careless desire."

He loosened his grip then, certainly a man more of deed than word, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me in. There was no hesitation as his lips bloomed under mine and accepted my tongue eagerly, even going so far as to lightly suck it. I pushed back, pressed him against the car's side, and devoured his mouth. He tasted like blood and tobacco smoke, and his heart beat a frantic rhythm against my chest. His lithe body twisted next to mine, squirmed seemingly to betray the Death Angel's restrained longing.

After a time he pushed me away, though still gripped my tie tightly as he fumbled behind him to get the back door open. His mouth crushed against mine once more, and despite the night's cool air, Walter's skin was scorchingly hot. I wasn't sure if it were the unfamiliar touch of a mortal or the elevation of body heat from arousal. He pressed me back, away from the vehicle, just enough space to get the back door open, and all but dragged me into the back seat by the firm grip he had on red silk.

"Alucard," He sighed not with a lover's longing but resignation as I climbed over his body after shutting the door behind us. "It would be so much easier if I could be disgusted by or even hate you, and I am sometimes frustrated by your complexity." His lips, still split from our earlier quarrel, twisted almost bitterly. "However, to despise your monstrosity would be a bit hypocritical, wouldn't you say?"

I laughed very softly as I stroked gloved fingertips along his jaw line and down the hollow of his throat. Perhaps the darkness allowed him to be more open, and I watched with nothing less than satisfaction as his eyelids slipped down, dark lashes shivering against skin that was perhaps too pale. Beneath my body his arched, molded upon mine, and I idly loosened the knot of his stark black tie. I was briefly surprised that it had survived our earlier fury, but he'd always had an amazing ability to stay polished even in the midst of carnage.

"I fully agree," I murmured. "For what are we but killers at the core?" I chanced to tease his earlobe with the edge of my teeth before adding even more softly, hardly more than a breath in the darkness. "Though perhaps you are just a bit more poisonous than I."

Walter's body shuddered with scornful laughter and his voice was nearly as quiet as mine on his reply. "Why, because I'm human?"

Humming against his skin as I lost my self to simple pleasures: The sound of his heartbeat, still rioting within the cage of his chest, and scent of dirt, blood, and death on his skin and in his clothing. Yet I would be remiss if I did not answer his question and reluctantly lifted my face from the dark hollow behind his ear.

"Come now, of all the people to pose that inquiry, it should not be me. You hide your viciousness so beautifully, Angel of Death. In fact I am sometimes quite envious that you can afford yourself such a luxury."

"What would you have me do, Alucard?" Walter demanded with a bit of sharpness to his tone. His fingers twisted in my hair, holding it in an angry grip as though to emphasize the exasperation in his tone and perhaps to halt my seduction. "Cut the throats of those who displease me? Speak in anger when those old men refuse mere pittance to fund the organization?"

"That would be a start," I teased.

He clucked his tongue in irritation but a small smile crossed his lips nonetheless. Leaning up into the scanty space between us, Walter brushed his mouth against mine. "I think I'd rather let my mask only slip on the hunt or in these secret places."

**Finis**


	6. Ennui

**"Ennui"**

The reek of scotch and drunken melancholy drew me to a small sitting room, where I found Walter sprawled across an oriental rug. His fingers were curled around the neck around a bottle of Glenlivet and he was in quite the disheveled state. Hair was unbound, a dark halo around his head, tie loosened at his throat, waistcoat unbuttoned, eyes closed, and lips parted as though awaiting a kiss. Tempting idea that, but I was not in the habit of taking advantage of inebriated lovers.

Instead I pried his fingers from around the bottle and took it away from him. I observed its contents with a small sigh. Nearly half the bottle had been drained. I was surprised when the man stirred as I settled into an armchair across from him. He sat up, eyes bleary, but voice surprisingly clear. By some luck of biology, Walter was oddly lucid when drunk.

"I was still drinking that," He drawled lazily.

"You've had quite enough," I pointed out more sternly than I'd intended. "Care to elaborate on the catalyst?"

The Angel of Death sighed softly as he stood a bit unsteadily. He strolled right up to me, and though he bore that remarkable refulgence, the man exhibited his old cocky manner he'd all but replaced with the graceful restraint of a proper English gentleman. It looked even better in fact, to see that porcelain perfect façade crack and expose the predator that lurked. He leaned into my space, placed one hand back on the bottle's neck and weaved fingers through my chevelure with the other.

"Have I ever told you how much I like your hair?" Walter asked playfully.

I rolled my eyes at him, resisting the desire to pull him in and damn the consequences. He'd let me even if he weren't drunk, but my question was relevant, and I desperately wanted to know why the man was pouring straight liquor over his troubles. It concerned me. Despite his exceptional tolerance, Walter rarely drank. Only on special occasions, whether they be to celebrate or mourn.

"I'm sure that I already know," I smirked at him nonetheless. "However, my question remains."

He scoffed softly and narrowed grey eyes at me. Walter reeled backward with his prize and making me shiver as his fingers slowly pulled strands along with his retreat until they were extricated. There was a bitter twist to his lips, a trace of darkness in the wake of uncommon jocularity.

"I'm _bored_, Alucard," He sighed with resignation, the straight lines of his carriage befitting the Angel of Death more than the humble servant he was becoming.

"It _has_ been quiet of late," I admitted, though I was a bit irritated that he would complain. At least he was useful. The worthless wretches that crawled from the shadows were hardly worthy of my attention and Walter was more than capable of dispatching them alone. I'd been inactive for months, sharing only in the kill vicariously on the occasions that he'd drag me to bed with the scent of bloody carnage on his skin and clothing.

"Shouldn't this ennui be a blessing?" I asked somewhat mockingly. "I'd say that it's rather morbid to wish it to be otherwise considering the risk of innocent lives."

He snorted indelicately as he extracted a cigarette and placed it between his lips. I watched the practiced gesture as he set flame its tip. Oddly arousing, but there was something so wildly sensual about the frenetic human body. Even languid, it was a riot of movement. An annoyance at times when wasted, but Walter was among the few that rarely did so. I cherished every casual gesticulation.

He scraped fingers through his wild tresses before giving me an insolent look, pulling the burning cylinder of tobacco from his mouth, and exhaling sharply. Though he still clutched the bottle like a talisman, he did not drink and instead only paced.

"Men are more monstrous," Walter replied acridly. "Anyway, it's not as though it ever really mattered to me. Protecting the mortal populous...don't make me laugh."

"This is quite true," I murmured as I unfolded my body from the chair. His pacing was agitating me somewhat. Hands on his hips stilled his motion and I drew him closer, not yet against my body, but close enough to feel his radiating heat.

"This isn't about the hunt, is it?"

"No."

His short response and cooling gaze made me wonder if he would evade the question by word or deed. Instead he lightly stroked fingers along my tie, deftly undoing, but his hardened regard did not alter.

"You of all people should understand," He spoke in an even, chilling tone. "Just as you, I was not made for servitude. This bit chafes me, Alucard. Surely you agree."

Low sigh and impulsive gesture as I passed a hand along the back of his head, smoothing sable strands and idly wondering if they would ever be shot through with grey. Though pride kept me from saying as much, or perhaps the awareness that it would serve only to offend, I worried when he hunted alone. For as brilliant as he was, agile, strong, and clever, this angel was woefully fragile with his mortality. A single wrong move and he would be just another corpse. I would not seek to denigrate his prowess, but I wished Arthur would allow me to accompany him even if it was excessive force. Even if I were to just stand and watch the beauty of the decimation he wrought, it would be a great comfort. I laughed softly at my own sentimentality.

"I do, but what do you intend? Put in your letter of resignation and shuffle off into some pale semblance of normality?"

My voice was steady, nearly conversational, but inside I squirmed with anxiety. If he said yes, he would just become another ghost in my head. Though it was inevitable, the thirteen years we'd shared as partners, friends, and eventual lovers seemed hardly enough.

He glared, blew smoke in my face, and stepped out of my clutch. "Of course I'll do none of those things. The human condition is nothing more than trading one yoke for another: Bound by family, bound by employment, bound by a spouse and child rearing. Nothing more than a sad existence under some grindstone."

A teasing question regarding his cynicism clung to my tongue, yet it was flippant. He'd been an arrogant, cynical child, trained to hunt monsters when he should have been playing with imaginary friends or drawing stick figures with crayons. It was no surprise that he'd grown into a jaded man.

I frowned as he continued, his manner once more changed perhaps with his intoxication. Walter slowly pulled the accessory from around my neck and dropped it to the floor. He slipped two buttons open and wormed his hot fingers into the collar in order to stroke my skin. The idle caress seemed to brand me, and I imagined his touch leaving angry marks as though it could somehow burn me. I tried not to shudder with pleasure, but failed.

"I envy you sometimes," Walter spoke softly, intimately. He smothered my imminent protest with a rough kiss. His hot tongue briefly chased mine and robbed my ability to form words.

"Before you lecture me, let me just say it's not for the reason that you think. I couldn't give one whit about the superiority of senses and reflexes; I'm speaking of your kind's longevity. Perhaps you find slavery attractive but I still say it's easier for you to take because someday you will be free. This family is not exactly tended toward breeding, after all. How many lives have you undertaken, Alucard? This is just one more tale for you to tell."

Despite my jeering laughter, I finally gave into the temptation to draw him into an embrace. His body curving against mine seemed to contrast with his harsh tone and demand. "How many times have I had everything destroyed, and how many people do you imagine have passed through my life? If your bodies weren't so goddamned loud, you humans would be nothing more than specters in my path."

Quick as a striking viper, he fisted fingers in my hair and glowered at me. The ferocity in argentine eyes was exciting and boiled my blood. I sought to hound the lips that had curled into a haughty snarl, but his grip held me firm unless I attempted to force the issue.

"You need none of mortality's comforts. Money has no meaning for you, nor does any shelter aside from your coffin." Just as quickly as his temper had flared, his ire dissipated. Some strange sense of sadness creased his brow. "While I sympathize with your losses, how many people would you have never met had you not thrown humanity's shackles?"

His expression was so meaningful that it strangled useless oxygen in my throat. I kissed him hard in the next beat of his heart, listened to it speed up as his grasping fingers scratched instead along my scalp. Yes, he was just one more brief life to intersect with my unending track, but he was so painfully vibrant. The eternal conflict rose and tightened my chest with emotion. I should be solitary. What did I need for companionship? Yet to chose such a way to live seemed more agonizing than if I had to mourn every wan confidant. All too soon he was struggling free and taking one last pull off the bottle before rudely extinguishing his cigarette in the remaining liquid. He was breathing heavily but looked more regretful than lustful.

"For as much as I enjoy your company, I must take my leave, Alucard." With that said his guard was perfectly in place despite the lingering sting of alcohol on his breath. A pleasant nod and polite smile later, he put aside the ruined liqueur and reordered his appearance, even going so far as to tie his hair back. He turned to leave and though sorely provoked to pursue, I stayed stock still, following his retreat only with my eyes. The man paused in the doorway just long enough to devastate me.

"Please don't bedevil me," Walter implored quietly. "I pray to close the night with more common sense than I have displayed this evening."

**Finis**.


	7. Metamorph II

"**Metamorph II**"

Walter stood in the library's doorway, rooted by the sight of an unknown man sitting in an armchair: Handsome, wild ebony hair, cruel mouth, pallid complexion, and the cold stillness of a vampire. His blood ran cold. The Count.

"Alucard," Walter breathed, then cleared his throat. "You could have warned me."

The vampire looked up from his book and fixed Walter with a penetrating gaze. Those carmine eyes were so familiar yet strange now set within a man's features. Walter held Alucard's regard, though his chest tightened and stomach clenched.

"What ever do you mean, Angel of Death?" The vampire asked. His voice was hypnotic: Deep, dark, and touched faintly by his homeland. Though the sound was entrancing, it was Alucard's characteristic dry sarcasm that drew Walter out of his unease. The teenager smirked at him as his shoulders began to lose their tension.

"Don't toy with me, Alucard," Walter laughed very softly. "You were not a man yesterday."

"Yes I was," Alucard countered dismissively. "I only had worn a young girl's visage."

"Hm, of course," Walter retorted sharply. "Do forgive my mistake."

He crossed to the bookshelf next to the vampire and began to shift around books, seeking to look busy as he tried to recall why he'd come here in the first place. Seeing Alucard like that had shaken him. It wasn't the first time he'd seen him as his born gender, however it had been such a long time ago. He certainly didn't remember the vampire being so...magnetic. The errant thought made Walter's pulse pick up speed and he bit the inside of his cheek nervously to prevent the curse forming on his tongue.

"Does it bother you?"

Alucard had moved from the chair to stand near the Death Angel and the spoken words had seemed to invade his space. Walter rolled his shoulders in order to hide the slight flinch. He had to step back slightly to look up into the vampire's face. As a man Alucard was a few inches taller than him, something that Walter found oddly more appealing than intimidating.

_Another errant thought to over analyze later_. He mused vaguely.

"Not at all," Walter forced a tight smile and met the man's light mockery with calm. He wasn't a kid any more. By nineteen, the Angel had learned to stifle his crude language and better control impulsive emotions. "Your form is not my concern. I'd venture it's a change for the better. Alucard is not exactly a name fit for a young lady."

The vampire chuckled, reached between them and enacted a familiar gesture that sparked a sense of longing, stronger than ever. He slipped fingertips along Walter's jawline, ending the caress along the sensitive skin just behind his earlobe. The Angel shuddered softly and set teeth to his lower lip in a vain attempt to suppress it.

"So good to know this form won't be causing any...discomfort," The low, sensual voice was so disquieting, and Walter was stuck between the urge to lean into his touch and get away from him as quick as possible. Queer mix of lust coiled up with fear spiced with the menace that Walter had always found so alluring.

With great effort, Walter stepped out of the vampire's reach. "Can I assist you in any way, Alucard?" He inquired in a perfectly reasonable manner. His expression was neutral but pleasant; his voice was calm and even sounded sincere.

"No, I believe I'm content for the moment," Alucard grinned and turned to leave, walking through the wall as though it were the most normal thing to do.

Walter was finally able to let his guard down a little and sank into the chair Alucard had occupied. There was no body heat left behind, perhaps the leather leant an added bit of chill. The teen's heart was hammering and he automatically went for the cigarettes in his vest. When he found them missing he swore sharply, remembering that he'd resolved to cut down. At the vampire's request...damn it all. Had he been so fooled by a pretty girl's face? So tricked that even as a man Alucard could trip his pulse and bring forth feelings of fondness? He feared the answer would not come quickly or quietly.

**Fini.**


End file.
